do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
