But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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