how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
