carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
