I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
