How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
