Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
