If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
