just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
vagina is talking i cant
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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