He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
