We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
