Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
