Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think my vagina is haunted
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
