Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
