i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's never too late to be topless.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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