Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
