Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i was born a porn star she said
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize