I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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