Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
