it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All the doctor said was why
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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