I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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