I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
