What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
