but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
