ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
