CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
In America we eat man semen.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
