why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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