I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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