How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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