I hope mine doesn't look like that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
