when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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