he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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