im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
