a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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