There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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