Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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