i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
