I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
