U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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