Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
