nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
