i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How's work?
Spinning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
