fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
