The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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