You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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