marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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