if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The air was thick with penises
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
