i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wear drunk well.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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