is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
