Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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