last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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