i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
