i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I need a burrito and a hug.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
