Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
