Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
