doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize