the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
