dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
