And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
