I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
