come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Randomize