Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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