So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
