I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
