all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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