the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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