apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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