There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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