I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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